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Married daters are more common than we’d like to think, says dating coach Laurel House, host of the podcast The Man Whisperer.

Her tip: “A little pre-date due diligence is smart.

“It’s more possible to find someone now than at probably any other time in history, particularly if you’re older.

You don’t have to stand in a bar and wait for the right one to come along,” says Fisher.

Within seconds of chatting, you’re firing off snaps of your torso to someone you didn’t even know existed when you woke up this morning. You probably have a favourite bar or restaurant to meet your dates – a failsafe locale that always helps the night go well. Try different looks so you feel fresh and invigorated rather than relying on sure things and old faithfuls. How’s it going with that array of brunettes, sapiosexuals or guys who like hip-hop?

There’s a lot to be said for mystery and letting your personality do the talking. Maybe, too, a repertoire of one-liners or stories to fall back on to break an awkward silence. Because, well, if you think about it, your guaranteed pulling tricks aren’t working that well, is it? Let me guess, the conversation is due and circular, or you’re so distracted by how they don’t live up to your preconceived ideas, you either go off them completely, or, worse, don’t realise how wrong they are for you. I don’t mean arrive in a balaclava or leap from a moving car as you make your entrance, but think less about people as categories or box-ticking, and make yourself open to suggestion.

Which music video would you have loved to be an extra in? Despite what algorithms tell you, it’s not a science; it’s as organic as a cabbages grown in horses**t. Delete the apps, and when you come back, try different ones.

If you could write one novel what would it be about? That analogy feels hauntingly realistic the you’ve been single for 5 years, believe me. Yes, they’ll be full of the same faces as the other apps because the world’s a village, but fresh surroundings can do make you look at someone completely differently.

Enter Damona Hoffman, dating coach and host of the Dates & Mates podcast, who promises rapid results if I just follow a few tough-love rules....“And we’ve found that people looking for a sweetheart on the internet are more likely to have full-time employment and higher education, and to be seeking a long-term partner.Online dating is the way to go—you just have to learn to work the system.” So take heart: Whether you’re a first-time player or a seasoned contestant who wants to up her game, our troubleshooting guide is here to help, with advice from both experts and survivors on how to search strategically, handle setbacks gracefully, maintain sanity, and enjoy the ride—with minimal agony and maximum ecstasy. Seven years ago, I signed up for Match.com, but I never took it seriously.Agreed—as a curvy girl, I want to avoid first-date surprises. I haven’t worn a Halloween costume since I went as a pack of grape Hubba Bubba in sixth grade.If they're older/paunchier/have more neck bolts than he does in the photos, choose compassion, says New York dating coach Connell Barrett.

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