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(And orbiting becomes a much rarer occurrence.) According to Christine Kershaw, a doctoral candidate in University of Alberta’s Department of Psychology who recently co-authored a meta-analysis on the behaviors of attraction, affiliative actions—making eye contact, smiling, initiating conversations, laughing, and maintaining proximity—are crucial to communicating attraction and are the building blocks for developing a rapport with your date, which is extra important when you’re meeting someone for the first time.Yes, this can be challenging if you’re shy around someone you like.And while these are all great attributes in general, this energy can sometimes make a date feel like a job interview.If you’re meeting a suitor straight from your job, Avgitidis suggests doing a relaxing, 15- to 30-minute activity beforehand—like grabbing a coffee solo or getting a quick blowout—to create a “buffer zone” between work and play. ) It’s only natural to want to make your attraction clear by letting your flirty, sensual flag fly.And considering that research has shown more than half of what we convey in social interactions is through nonverbal posturing, it pays to be mindful of what your body is “saying.” To avoid unintentionally appearing standoffish on your next date—and confusing your love interest about your intentions—I asked relationship experts to share some of the unconscious body language mistakes people often make when they’re out with someone they’re into.
We are more purposeful with our actions, and we can be more assertive,” she says.
Ben also recommends “smizing,” which any fan of America’s Next Top Model will remember means “smiling with your eyes” and Thomas told me that before he met his wife, he used to put on his favorite playlists to listen to in the shower before getting done up in his favorite threads in preparation for a date.
(He also used to do push-ups to get the adrenaline pumping but I won’t judge you if you want to just stick to the fun music and power poses.)Thomas’ number one tip for body language on a first date is to “break the physical barrier,” which is dating coach-speak for “touch your date.” He points out that the biggest difference between friends and partners is physicality and that the way we touch a friend differs from the way we touch a romantic prospect. Simple: Hug.“You’re not here for a meeting,” Thomas tells Bustle.
Should you smile more or smile less or just wear a Guy Fawkes mask and not have to worry about what your face is doing at all? How are you supposed to remember all of these things anyway??
But while I absolutely understand that impulse, if you’re looking for a romantic partner then it’s very unlikely you’re going to meet that person on your couch.